How One Community is Helping Ease the Pain of Infertility and Loss

Rebecca Hochreiter
Rebecca Hochreiter
CMO of GoStork

Alex Kornswiet is mom to two boys and founder of the supportive online community Every BODY matters. What started out as an Instagram blog in 2019 evolved into a platform for advocacy for herself and others on infertility and miscarraige – as Alex says, “You should not have to face infertility and loss alone”.

I loved getting to know Alex during the past months, her work is inspiring. She shares with us her story of IVF and surrogacy (her little one from surrogacy is only a few months old!), and how her struggle inspired Every BODY Matters, as well as her newly released book How to Help Friends & Family Through Infertility. In her own words, finding support “made a gigantic difference” and she wants to be there for others facing a similar struggle. Read on for Alex’s story and how the community is supporting so many on their journey as well as donating to good causes.

 

The amazing Alex Kornswiet, Founder of Every BODY Matters

In Every BODY Matters, you’ve created a wonderful resource for people struggling with infertility as well as for those looking to provide support. How did your own journey inspire and help you to build this community for other intended parents?

Thank you so much for saying that! I absolutely aim to help others and I’m so grateful that I can. I love connecting with people regularly and hearing everybody else’s stories as well. I started my blog about a year ago, in 2019, in an effort to find a community and a support system while I personally was in a dark place of infertility. Over the past 3 years, my husband and I have experienced two cancelled cycles, two failed transfers, and two miscarriages, eventually receiving the news that my body could no longer carry a child to term myself. Last October, we decided that we wanted to pursue surrogacy as a final option to have our second child, but like many, we did not have a lot of resources. We ended up doing a lot of our own research for agencies, lawyers, doctors, and more – finally finding a fit for us. I love the opportunity to share my own journey, as well as connect with others, in the hopes that by sharing, I can help make others feel less alone and less overwhelmed on their journeys.

You support a different cause every month – which is incredibly generous. Can you tell us more about this program, how it has evolved and how you choose your causes?

This program is actually still in early stages, as I’m still working out kinks with the shop itself, but I’m happy for anything I can donate! I hope to work with other companies in the future to help sell their products through my site so we can work together to donate to good causes as well. I started this program because I want to find any way I can to give back, and even if it’s a small amount sometimes, I know that every penny can help.

Sharing her journey to empower others 

You’re not only a mom of two, but also a newly published author! Congrats 🙂 . Tell us about your book – what inspired you to write it and what you hope readers will get from it?

Thank you so much! I’m very excited about it and proud that it’s officially out there now! In the infertility community, people often talk about how many people, even loved ones, often say the wrong thing in the face of their pain. The words are usually meant to come off as supportive, but they end up coming off as hurtful. There are so many discussions amongst people with infertility about what is being said, and the frustrations around that, but most do not feel comfortable correcting their loved ones or telling them the right thing to say instead.

Either that, or they just do not have the energy to educate everyone around them while they are trying to just get through their own hardships. That’s what inspired me to write this book! There are so many resources for people dealing with infertility, but there are not any resources about how to help people through infertility – until now that is!

It’s called “How to Help Friends & Family Through Infertility”. It aims to help those who want to support their friends and family going through infertility, but don’t know how. It will help people understand what to say, what to do, and the details about what infertility entails overall, so they feel better equipped to offer support. Chapters include “What Not To Say”, “Triggering Words”, “How to Share Pregnancy News”, and more. By just opening this book, people are already getting a great head start to supporting their friend, family member or loved one! It’s currently available on Amazon in eBook and paperback versions here. I really hope I can help many people with this book!

Alex Kornswiet with the book that helped her named "how to help friends and family through infertility"

Alex’s book, “How to Help Friends & Family Through Infertility”

What advice would you give to intended parents on GoStork who are just beginning their family building journey?

For us, knowing all of our options was very important to us, and I love that GoStork makes that so easy! So I would tell intended parents to really use the compare tools to look at different agencies, doctors, and more to make sure they have a holistic view of where they’re considering using, and how they are going to connect with a potential gestational carrier. It is such a huge decision, and having the ability to see so many options all in one place is truly incredible. I wish I had this resource a year ago!

It’s been a really hard year in general for so many people everywhere – but hopefully you’re experiencing at least a few silver linings. What are the most rewarding aspects of your day – both in your personal life and your ‘Every BODY Matters’ life.

Even though 2020 has been incredibly different and very strange for all, we feel incredibly blessed because we finally welcomed our second child in December via surrogate – so for us, that’s the true silver lining of the year! More than a silver lining of course. Overall, the most rewarding aspects of my personal life are honestly being able to stay home with our son. We had our first child via IVF in 2017, and since COVID hit, I have become a full time stay at home mom, and I honestly feel incredibly blessed to be able to do that. I also cherish our weekends as a family when my husband is home from work and we can just unplug and spend time all together. For my blogger life, the most rewarding day to day aspect is absolutely the connections I make with people. I love talking one on one with people, hearing others’ stories, being able to help in any way I can, and more. Those connections and the community mean so much to me.

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Alex – you’re supporting so many others as they navigate a similar path!

Intended parents, follow Every BODY Matters on Instagram (@wheneverybodymatters), and check out the many helpful resources at wheneverybodymatters.com, including Alex’s book How to Help Friends and Family Through Infertility.

We also have an Instagram Live with Alex coming up! Tune in on our IG @gostorky on Thursday March 4 at 1pm (ET) for a conversation on “IVF, Surrogacy & Being Your Own Best Advocate”.