Why I Chose Purpose Over Vision on My Path To Parenthood

Ravid Israel
Ravid Israel
Founder of Embie, the first app exclusively designed for women going through fertility treatments

I used to be a planner. Every year I’d put together my goals and vision. So much so, that at one point I held workshops and taught other women how to do this.

My vision wasn’t all that different from what most women look for in life. The plan was to meet a man, fall in love, get married, and have 3 kids.

But then infertility happened two months shy of my 30th birthday. There was no class or coach to teach me how to be single and infertile. My relationships, and ultimately life, was filled with pressure. The clock was ticking and if you weren’t on my timeline, I would be forced to leave you. I’ve left men I loved and a man I still consider my soulmate, all because our “timing” was off.

And then I met someone who was on the same timeline as me and we were hit with a set of new problems caused by infertility treatments. IVF isn’t easy for anyone to take on, but for a new couple, diving right in, it had disaster written all over it.

For the first time in our lives, we were faced with failure and unimaginable grief as we suffered failed cycle after cycle and pregnancy loss. Figuring out how to manage these losses alone was hard enough. Figuring out how to do it with someone you had no major history with, was, well, it broke us.

After 5 Full IVF retrieval cycles, 4 failed transfers and a Dr saying he thought I was running out of eggs, my partner left. He was convinced I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant and give him the family he longed for and I was forced to figure out, where do I go from here?

I knew that if I were to stick to the vision, it would mean starting all over again and trying to find the man that fit my vision and my timing – with more pressure than ever – because I was “running out of eggs.”

But, I was too tired for that. I was tired of trying to fit into the vision board, or ideal. I had to give up on that vision and that loss was devastating.

My turning point happened when I asked myself, what is it that I really want? What was the purpose behind my vision?

The answer was simple; I want a family. And in acknowledging purpose over vision, it freed me. My family could look like anything, as long as there was love. And with that thought process, moving forward as a single mom by choice became an easy choice.

I chose a sperm donor with ease. Someone who looked like my family and had shared interests and talents with me. I confirmed my choice and paid for my viles on Valentine’s day, a symbol of the love I had for my new type of family.

And on my first try on my own, I got pregnant, with my now 4 month old son. And if I had to do it all over again, I would, but sooner.

I realized that all of these years, trying to accomplish my vision kept me stuck. It kept me in a cycle where I had to have control over the outcome. It didn’t allow me to evolve, or take steps in a different direction.

No vision board could have ever depicted the amount of love I ultimately feel for my family now.

About Ravid Israel

Ever heard of the term there’s an app for that? Well, if you’ve gone through fertility treatments in the past few years and looked for an app to help you, you quickly realized that for this problem, there was no app.

That’s the realization Ravid, the founder of Embie, came to as she went through what began as fertility preservation, but turned to full on infertility treatments.

As an A type, Ravid started tracking all things related to her fertility and treatments in excel, her phone’s calendar and traditional TTC apps. She quickly noticed some patterns as she started comparing her cycles and began advocating for changes to her Protocol. The result was better quality eggs and higher fertilization rates.

She knew right then and there that other women needed this information too and Embie was conceived.

Ravid’s fertility journey began in 2012 with a Cervical Cancer diagnosis, followed by severe endometriosis, multiple fibroids, and an MTHFR mutation. This prompted a move abroad for more affordable reproductive care which was followed by six full IVF cycles, 4 transfers and a lot of experimentation.

After five IVF cycle attempts with a partner, Ravid succeeded on her SMBC/first donor cycle, which resulted in the birth of her son in Nov 2020!

About Embie

Embie, launched in Oct 2020, is the world’s only tracking app exclusively made for women going through IVF, IUI and Fertility Preservation Cycles. It enables women to stay organized and feel empowered through their journeys. The app provides one place where women can log their medications, keep track of symptoms and appointments, track results, get insight and support from the community.

Embie believes that women going through fertility treatments should be met with a specific supported experience that allows them to stay organised, track their results and build community. Our mission is to harness the data that helps women advocate for their treatment today, while helping millions of others realise their dream of having a family tomorrow.

Check out Embie app on Instagram @embieapp and follow Ravid’s personal journey @embie2baby